Growing Up
Ephesians 4:11-15 11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers,
12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ,
13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;
14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting,
15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head–Christ–
There are striking similarities between physical growth and natural growth. There is a progression through various stages that every human being has to go through in the journey from infancy to adulthood. The same is true in spiritual growth – we don’t become instant mature Christians right after we are born again. There are stages we go through in spiritual growth also.
In physical growth, the stages are very clear cut and have distinct chronological spans. Through much observation, doctors, scientists, and psychologists can accurately describe where a child is expected to be at various stages of development. Many studies and books have been written about it. I remember back in the 60’s, when myself and my brother and sister were children, the most famous book on child rearing that multitudes of parents consulted was The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care by Dr. Benjamin Spock. I was the oldest, so I noticed my Mom using it with brother and especially my sister, who was 6 years younger.
The chronological time span for the stages of spiritual growth and not so well defined. Some mature very quickly, some seem like they stay babies their entire lives. In this way, spiritual growth may be likened closer to mental and psychological growth where there is more variation between different people.
We must all pass through the same stages of development. How quickly we mature depends on a number of factors.
Care and Feeding
If a child does not receive proper nutrition, growth can be stunted. This is especially true in the early stages of infancy.
There are stories of ghetto mothers who in their ignorance fed their babies kool-aid to keep them quiet. They grew up with physical and mental deficiencies. This is especially sad since God provided the perfect solution to infant nutrition with breast feeding. But there was a period of time when breast feeding was “out of fashion” and mothers relied on formula – this was at the recommendation of doctors.
Over time the opinion of doctors scientists changed and they realized that God’s natural way was best, but could be supplemented with formula. That enables Dad to take a turn in the feeding process and give Mom a rest.
Our spiritual food is the Word of God
1 Peter 2:2 2 as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,
2 Timothy 3:16-17 16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,
17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Our primary source of nourishment is the Word of God.
Matthew 4:4 4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ “
“Every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” includes not only the written word (the logos), but also the word that Gods speaks to you personally (the rhema).
My wife (girlfriend at the time) were saved while working at Yosemite National Park in the summer of 1974. We came under the influence of several Christ for the Nations students who were working with the pastor of the Yosemite church (a wonderful Spirit filled man). One in particular, named Blaine, would encourage us to read the Bible, and told us “If you don’t eat, you won’t grow”.
We took his advice to heart. That first year we were saved, I read the entire Bible through 6 times, and my girlfriend did 8 times. Now it was in an easy to read paraphrase, the Living Bible, but we were finding out what was in there.
Fellowship with the Saints
Our own, personal study of the Word is essential.
But you don’t teach a child to read and then hand them a book on being an adult and expect him to teach himself (or herself). Children must be shown, and have examples and role models to follow.
We can’t receive all the information we need to mature properly by our own personal study alone. We can get flaky ideas. We need the guidance of the rest of the Body of Christ.
In the first scripture from Ephesians we listed, we see that the 5 fold ministry – apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers – were given to the Body of Christ to equip us and help us grow.
There is another ingredient of spiritual growth that needs to be addressed – fellowship with other saints. A child that is isolated and has no interaction with people will not develop correctly. Even a child that only has interaction with adults. A child needs interaction with other children to learn how to behave with other people.
Hebrews 10:24-25 24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,
25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
In the days this was written, the only way you could hear the word was in person hearing someone preach or teach, or through reading someone’s writings. With modern technology, we can hear and see someone teach without being there in person. But there are some things that you will not get from only being an “online” Christian. That is learning – and practicing – walking in love. For that you need interaction with other people.
Notice in these verses from Hebrews, that the goal is not just to receive teaching and instruction, which you can get online, but you should also be ministering to other people. This is not just for the pastors, but for every believer.
The Stages of Spiritual Growth
- Birth
- Infancy and Babyhood
- Childhood
- Adolescence
- Manhood / Adulthood
Each of these stages in physical growth and maturity has a corresponding stage in spiritual growth and maturity. We can locate ourselves.
Birth
Physical growth is counted from birth (although it is true that the baby has been growing for 9 months in the womb).
Spiritual growth starts with the new birth.
John 3:1-6 1 There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews.
2 This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.”
3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
4 Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?”
5 Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
The entrance into the kingdom of God is through the new birth, even as the entrance to the world is through physical birth. Jesus explains it in vs. 6, that which is born of the (Holy) Spirit is spirit.
As human beings, we are created as three parts: spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23). It’s not that someone who is not born again has no spirit, it is that their spirit is separated from God. The Bible uses the word dead to describe it.
Ephesians 2:1-5 1 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins,
2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,
3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,
5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).
A baby actually starts growing inside the womb – in fact, their greatest spurt of growth comes from going from one co-joined cell into an infant of a few pounds.
Those that believe in abortion on demand deny the humanity of the baby – because of course it is wrong to kill humans. So they say the baby is “just a clump of cells”. Maybe you could look at a zygote or embryo and call it a “clump of cells”, but how can that argument be used to justify abortion up until birth (some states have laws that allow this)? Does the creature magically become human just by changing its location? Inside the womb – not human, a few hours later, outside the womb –a human?
This satanic tactic has been used to justify killing people of all types. Oh, these natives are savages, they are inferior. These Jews are an inferior race. They are less than human.
I am reminded of a sciece fiction story by Isaac Asimov that involves this same reasoning. Asimov wrote many stories about robots (if you’ve ever seen Bicentennial Man with Robin Williams, that’s one of Asimov’s stories). At the beginning, the robot Andrew makes a presentation of the Three Laws of Robotics. These were laws programmed into the robot’s psychology:
- The First Law: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
- The Second Law: A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
- The Third Law: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
In one story, a society got around the first law by redefining what a “human” was to only include people from their own planet, identified by their accent. And people have used that same reasoning to justify enslaving people, imprisoning and putting Jews to death, and killing unborn babies in the womb. “They are not, or are less than, human”.
Infancy / Babyhood
After a child is born, they enter the stage of infancy. Someone who just was born again is like a spiritual infant.
1 Peter 2:2 2 as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,
Some of the characteristics of the babyhood stage:
Innocence and Teachableness
A baby has no past. Someone who is born again has no past records of sin – their slate has been wiped clean.
A baby is teachable. The capacity to learn new things is greatest in children. I read an article stating that all children are geniuses in their capacity to learn. They learn how to interact with their environment. They imitate those around them – either good or bad. Part of growing up is developing discernment, to recognize between good and evil.
We should never outgrow the characteristics of innocence and teachableness, coupled with discernment.
Babies Can’t Take Care of Themselves
Babies need someone to feed them, clothe them, and change their dirty diapers.
We don’t expect too much out of babies because we know their limitations and what they are capable of. And we rejoice over every new thing they learn to do – to reach for and grab things, to smile, to laugh, to roll over, to crawl.
Brand new Christians need to be able to see examples of what it is to be a Christian. They need encouragement to read the Bible, to hear explanations of what it means, to come to church. It’s not necessarily something they will do automatically.
Ignorance – Lack of Discernment
Babies don’t know much. They don’t know what’s good or bad for them. Everything they get their hands on goes in the mouth. That’s why you have to “babyproof” your house – lock cupboards, etc. They’ll drink Drano.
There are poisonous doctrines; things that will hurt you spiritually. There are religious books, and plenty of content online, that will steer a young Christian away from truth. There are so many voices out there – many of them contradictory.
When you want to poison an animal, you don’t just put the poison in a bowl. You hide it inside their food. Poisonous doctrine is hidden amongst valid truth. It’s the bait on the hook principal – you present something that is attractive, and maybe has some truth in it, but it has the barb that will snare you.
Babies and children in the Lord do not have the capacity to judge false doctrine – and they should not be expected to. Even older Christians don’t need to go reading or listening to a bunch of contradictory material.
When my girlfriend and I were saved up in Yosemite in 1974, we found an ad to get our first Bibles cheap from a magazine – it turns out they were Jehovah’s Witness bibles. The group of Christ for the Nations students that were up there working for the summer saw those, and said, “Oh no, you don’t want that bible” and steered us in the right direction.
Back when I was going to college at U.C. Berkeley, the last couple of years I was in a carpool, and one of the people was a seminary student. On the far end of the Berkeley campus, they had what was nicknamed “Holy Hill”, because it contained colleges from various denominations – Lutheran (my fellow carpooler was Lutheran), Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic, and even the Unitarian Church (I took a class on Romans up there once, taught by a Lutheran minister, and it was very good). He said that the seminary students would have classes in these different colleges. The idea was to present different viewpoints, and the students would make up their minds what they wanted to go with.
I asked him if that wasn’t confusing – these groups would have different and sometimes conflicting opinions on some subjects, especially the Unitarian perspective, which can hardly be called Christian. He admitted it was confusing, and sometimes he didn’t know what to believe.
You can’t do this with baby Christians. Children – and this applies to natural children chronologically as well as those that are spiritual children – need to be taught what to believe, not presented with a bunch of different viewpoints and let them decide.
Proverbs 22:6 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
If you don’t teach your child what is right and wrong, they will pick it up from their peers and the world – which could be disastrous.
Of course as imperfect parents, we can only teach our children what we know. As a church, we should have a program to help new believers gain a solid Biblical foundation. And as a new believer, you need to go to a church that will teach the Bible and not just social justice.
Self Centered and Routine Oriented
Another characteristic of babies is that they think they are the center of the universe. This stems from the fact that they are completely dependent on others for their well being. They are also driven by the desires of their flesh – feed me, burp me, change my dirty diapers.
Babies are easily spoiled. By that, I mean that when you treat them a certain way, they will come to expect it every time and you’ll have a fuss if they don’t get it. This is because one of the way babies learn is through a routine.
You bring up a child with a night light on, and even when they get older, they always have to have a light on.
They’ll have their favorite blanket, or toy, that they won’t part with. Even when it gets dirty and ragged, they’ll cry when you take it away to wash it.
We had a cassette called “Music Machine: Fruit of the Spirit” that was a very popular in the 80’s that featured a couple of kids going through “Agapeland” where they learned about the fruit of the Spirit through different animals singing songs. We played that for our firstborn son when it was nap time. And he would not take his nap unless we put it on. I heard it so many times that today I still remember the lyrics to one of those songs, and my son is 44 now. It was sung by a snail named Herbert: “Be patient, be patient, don’t be in such a hurry. When you grow impatient, you only start to worry. Remember, remember, that God is patient too. And think of all the times when others had to wait for you”.
Resistance to change is also a sign of spiritual immaturity. Their routine is upset. Somebody sat in “their” seat at church. “But this is always how we’ve done it”. We want the familiar, the comfortable. Something new and unknown can be scary.
Legitimate babies vs. Those that don’t want to grow up
Infants expect you to do everything for them, because they are incapable of doing things for themselves. And for legitimate babies, that’s OK. But babies should grow up. It’s another characteristic that as they develop, usually around the toddler age, they start wanting to do things for themselves. Even when they don’t quite get it right. It can be a source of great amusement, and sometimes frustration when they insist on doing something themselves, and will fight you when you try to help.
So we looked at 1 Peter 2:2 where it says that like newborn (spiritual) babes, to desire the milk of the word, that you may grow thereby.
What is the “milk” of the Word, as opposed to the “meat” of the Word?
Milk is teaching that gives to the baby Christian, without requiring much. These would be teachings about our identity in Christ; what He did for us, what we are in Him, what we have in Him, and what we can do.
The meat of the Word is the scripture that tells us what we have to do. Like putting aside selfishness and walking in love, rejoicing in adversity, laying down our lives for others.
Eventually a baby should be weaned from milk, and move to solid food. If done properly, the child will naturally gravitate and show interest in solid food.
Some don’t want to be weaned – and then you’ve got a cry on your hands.
When babies are really babies, parents don’t mind doing everything for them. But they desire to see growth. They delight in every new little thing the baby learns to do: smile, turn over, say “Dada” or “Mama”, crawl, first steps.
Genesis 21:8 Abraham made a great feast for Isaac on the day he was weaned. They threw a party!
God is the same way. He delights when new Christians begin to act like Him and grow.
A story from when we were baby Christians:
My girlfriend (now my wife of 47 years) and I were saved while working the summer at Yosemite National Park in 1974. She was a maid at the Ahwahnee Hotel, I worked at the Yosemite Village Grocery Store. Emily was saved about a month before I was. She also got baptized in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues before me.
So we were in her dorm room (along with her roommate who was also a brand new Christian), and we wanted to “hear it”. So she started speaking in tongues, and at one point it had the exact cadence of “Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall”. At another point she was singing, to the tune of the William Tell Overture. We all thought it was hilarious and laughed uproariously. God was playing with His babies. Tickling us and going “kootchie kootchie koo” so we would giggle.
So God also delights in His children showing progress.
What is distressing is when a child acts like a baby past the age he or she should.
We don’t mind feeding a baby a bottle, but it’s distressing when you have to part the whiskers to get it in his mouth.
Most physical babies are happy growing up. It’s actually the change in routine that upsets them. But most of the time, the delight of learning new things offsets the areas they can’t go back to that gave them comfort before.
Sometimes however, spiritual babies don’t want to grow up. They don’t want responsibility or accountability. They want only the fun without the work.
To be continued…